Luxury Moscow Apartment: Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46 - Unbelievable Views!
Luxury Moscow Apartment: Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46 - Unbelievable Views! - A Rambling Review (and it's a lot!)
Alright, buckle up, because I just got back from… well, it felt like a dream. This Luxury Moscow Apartment at Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46, with those "Unbelievable Views!"… they're not kidding. It's a whole experience, a ridiculously over-the-top slice of Russian high life, and honestly? I need a nap just thinking about it all. And, yes, I'm going to try and cram everything into this review – from the breathtaking (literally) views to the questionable (but hilarious) in-room tea selection. Here goes… brace yourself.
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- Keywords: Luxury Moscow Apartment, Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46, Moscow Hotel Review, Unbelievable Views, Accessibility, Spa Moscow, Fitness Center Moscow, Restaurant Moscow, Best Moscow Accommodation, Wheelchair Accessible Moscow, Free Wi-Fi Moscow, Moscow Travel, Russian Hospitality, Luxury Travel Moscow.
- Title: 🔥 Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46: Moscow's Luxury Apartment - Views That'll Steal Your Breath (and Maybe Your Wallet!)
- Meta Description: Forget the boring hotels! My wild ride through the Luxury Moscow Apartment at Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46. Unbelievable views, questionable tea bags, and enough amenities to make your head spin! Accessibility, Spa experiences, and a whole lotta "wow." Read my totally honest review!
(Okay, let's get messy!)
First Impressions & Getting There: An Airport Run and the Elevator of Dreams… or Nightmares?
Okay, so the airport transfer? Seamless. They whisked me away like I was royalty, in a Merc that smelled faintly of leather and ambition. My kind of vibe. Now, the building itself? Towering. Majestic. Slightly intimidating. The check-in? Smooth, contactless - modern and fast. They whizzed me up to… well, sky-high. And that elevator… the door close very slowly, it felt like a lifetime, that's a lot of time to think about how much money you're spending. This is what first, starts the whole experience.
Rooms & Amenities: The Gilded Cage…But a REALLY Nice Gilded Cage.
Alright, the apartment. The apartment. Oh my goodness. (And yes, there are air conditioning in all rooms, I was told, great) Think: massive. Think: Windows. Think: Views that stopped me dead in my tracks. Moscow, spread out below like a sparkling, chaotic diorama. Seriously, the "Unbelievable Views" aren't just a tagline; it's a promise. I mean, I'm not sure about the high floor, it seemed like the clouds can touch, the first impression is truly remarkable.
- Available in all rooms: Yes, everything. And lots of it. The Air conditioning was a godsend (Moscow summers, people!), the bathrobes were fluffy, the slippers were…slippery (be careful after a bath!). It gives a sense of luxury.
- Bathroom: Major points here. The separate shower/bathtub was gorgeous. And for some reason, there's a bathroom phone. Like, who am I calling? The Russian Mafia to see if they have a good deal on caviar? (Just kidding… mostly.)
- Bed situation: Extra-long bed, and super comfy. And the blackout curtains? They did their job. I slept like a… well, like someone who’d just spent a fortune on a luxury apartment.
- Internet Access: Okay, the Internet access – Wireless was fast and reliable. Wi-fi [free] is included. Good for work, if you need it. I spent most of my time staring out the window. Who has time for the internet?
- Room Vibes: The decorations were… a lot. There's a safe box, because you'll need it with the cost of all this, the soundproofing and all the other great in-room things. The desk was pretty, but you probably won't need it.
- Things to be aware that the things that aren't so good: I’ve spent a lot of time writing this review – and I've had a pretty amazing experience, but to make an honest, good review you have to mention at least one thing that could be done better. There's a lack of English guides (I don't speak Russian). I had to look up a lot of stuff online.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: From Caviar Dreams to Coffee Shop Realities.
- Restaurants: Several restaurants, from Asian cuisine in restaurant to Western cuisine in restaurant, I have no complaints. The breakfast buffet was… insane. Seriously, I'm pretty sure they had a whole section dedicated to artisanal cheeses. And the coffee shop? That place was my lifesaver in the mornings.
- My Experience with the food: I’ve had a few drinks at the Poolside bar, the snacks were alright, could have been done better, but that's alright, I can always eat in the restaurant. The Happy hour has some interesting options. The A la carte in restaurant was great.
- Room Service: 24-hour, I've had it. It was very nice to go to sleep at night, it's a great service to have, and don't worry, the room service is safe, and hygienic, like the rest.
Spa, Relaxation, and Fitness: Get Ready to Unwind…or Collapse From Overwhelm!
This is where things got REALLY interesting. I'm not usually a spa person, but… well, when in Rome (or, you know, a ridiculously luxurious Moscow apartment).
- Spa/sauna: They have everything. The Sauna, the Pool with view, the Steamroom, all top-notch.
- Massages: I got a massage. It was… intense. But in the best way. I felt like a new person.
- Fitness center: I glanced at the Fitness center. (I blame the caviar.) It looked well-equipped, if that's your thing.
- Things to relax: There's a whole bunch of things, like Body wrap and Body scrub, they also offer Foot bath.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe - Maybe Too Safe, Actually.
- Safety Protocols: The apartment was VERY serious about cleanliness. Staff trained in safety protocol, Anti-viral cleaning products, Rooms sanitized between stays. It actually felt a little sterile at times, like I needed a hazmat suit to breathe on the furniture. But hey, better safe than sorry, right?
- Other things about safety: First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Smoke alarms, CCTV in common areas, Safe dining setup, and everything else.
Services and Conveniences: The Stuff You Didn't Know You Needed…Until You Did.
- Daily housekeeping: Phenomenal. They were practically ninjas, appearing and disappearing like magic, leaving everything spotless.
- Concierge: Super helpful. They organized everything, from dinner reservations to… well, let’s just say some “cultural experiences.”
- Other things: Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange, Gift/souvenir shop, Luggage storage, Elevator, and everything else.
For the Kids: I didn't bring kids, but …
- Family/child friendly: The apartment is. They have Babysitting service, and Kids meal available.
Accessibility:
- Wheelchair accessible: The apartment provides Facilities for disabled guests, and an Elevator, which is great.
- Other things: Accessibility is good.
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer: Yes, and it's amazing.
- Parking: Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]. Taxi service.
Things to do: There are a lot of opportunities to do something!
- Business facilities: Yes, there are lots of them. Business travelers will love it.
- Meetings/Seminars: They have them.
- Outdoor venue for special events: Yes, they have those too.
- Indoor venue for special events: And yes, they also have those!
The Bottom Line (and it’s a big one!):
Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46 is not cheap. But… it's an experience. It’s unapologetically lavish, and if you’re looking for a taste of over-the-top luxury in Moscow, you won't be disappointed. The views alone could sell it. Sure, there are a few minor quibbles (I could have used a better selection of tea bags!), but overall? I'd go back in a heartbeat. Just… maybe with a slightly larger
Escape to Agen: Best Western Le Passage's Unforgettable Stay
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't just an itinerary; it's a battle plan, a love letter, and a potential disaster, all rolled into one messy Moscow adventure based out of Apartment Hanaka on Schyolkovskoye. Here we go…
Moscow Mayhem: Operation Babushka Doll (and Maybe Vodka)
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread in the Aeroport (and the Metro. Oh the Metro!)
- Time: 6:00 AM (Moscow Time - WHY does everything start so early? Jet lag is a cruel mistress.)
- Event: Landed. Survived. I swear the flight attendant gave me the stink eye for ordering two mini bottles of something-that-wasn't-water. Already feeling like I've committed a social faux pas. This is going well.
- Time: 7:30 AM
- Event: Immigration. Praying to whatever patron saint of visa applications exists. The stern-faced border agent barely glanced at my passport, which I found both reassuring and slightly insulting. Am I that forgettable?
- Time: 8:30 AM
- Event: Reached the bag. This is a win.
- Time: 9:00 AM
- Event: Airport to Apartment Transfer. The taxi driver (I think he was a taxi driver, he had the right car, a Lada, and a cigarette in his mouth. Hope I didn't just get kidnapped). He spoke… I don't know what he spoke, but it wasn't English. We managed to find the apartment, Hanaka, because I showed him the map.
- Mood: Mild panic combined with a desperate need for coffee. And a bathroom.
- Time: 10:30 AM
- Event: Apartment Hanaka - Check in. The key fit! Success! (Seriously, that's a win right there.) Apartment - relatively clean. Tiny. But hey, it's a roof. Already plotting a midnight raid on the local grocery store, seeking solace in carbs and potentially some Russian chocolate, because I'm pretty sure I've already depleted my 'emergency chocolate' stash in my backpack.
- Time: 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM
- Event: Metro Experience Part 1: The learning curve is steep. First: the Cyrillic alphabet. Second: I kept zoning out and nearly missed my stop, three times. Third: The sheer volume of people. I felt like a sardine in a can, a very confused, American sardine. Got hopelessly lost. Asked for help from a girl who was wearing a beautiful coat. Her English was surprisingly good. She was also very beautiful, so I was very embarrassed to ask for directions.
- Mood: Mild panic, a burgeoning love for the metro's efficiency, and a healthy respect for anyone who can navigate it with grace.
- Time: 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM
- Event: Lunch: Found a tiny little cafe. Ordered something that LOOKED delicious. Turns out, its was a soup with meat and some kind of dill, that I would later learn was called Borscht. It was… an experience. Let's just say my taste buds were challenged. Am I a culinary rebel?!
- Time: 2:00 PM - 6:00 PM
- Event: Red Square Reconnaissance. The Red Square itself? Amazing. Like, mind-blowingly amazing. St. Basil's Cathedral? Breathtakingly beautiful, even through the jet lag haze. Took about a hundred photos. Probably got in other people's way. Feel a weird mix of awe and mild guilt.
- Mood: Awe, wonder, and a growing respect for the sheer scale of everything.
- Time: 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM
- Event: Dinner: Trying to order dinner was its own adventure, and the waiters' expressions of amusement were quite evident. I think I ended up with… something. Is it chicken? Is it beef? I'm not even sure. The point is: I ate it. And survived.
- Time: 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
- Event: Back to the apartment. Stumbling a bit. My legs feel like lead.
- Mood: Exhaustion, and a deep, abiding need to just lie down.
Day 2: Culture Shock & Vodka…Maybe?
- Time: 9:00 AM: Wake up, or attempt to.
- Time: 10:00 AM: Breakfast at the Apartment.
- Time: 12:00 PM: Head to the Kremlin.
- Time: 1:00 PM: Tour of the Kremlin.
- Time: 3:00 PM-5:00 PM: GUM Department Store: Went to a shop, and bought a dress.
- Time: 6:00 PM-7:00 PM: Find a restaurant and try the Vodka, which turned out to be something I wouldn't touch again!
- Time: 7:00 PM-8:00 PM: Apartment.
Day 3: The Tretyakov Gallery and My Ongoing Battle with Language
- Time: 10:00 AM: Trek to the Tretyakov Gallery. Getting on the Metro seems easier now, though the sheer number of babushkas scrutinizing my every move is still a little terrifying. Are they judging my shoes? The way I hold my bag? My complete inability to understand the ticket machines?
- Time: 11:00 AM - 3:00 PM: The Tretyakov Gallery: Oh. My. God. The art! The power of the art! The emotions! I walked between the paintings of gods and all that happened in Russia and I became so emotional that I cried. I'd read about the religious art and its importance, but seeing it… It was like my soul was punched. Beautiful paintings. I love them all. So much to absorb. This deserves a whole day on its own. I spent too long there, and I'm pretty sure there's this massive painting in the first few rooms. It was like a wall. I couldn't even. I may have shed a tear or two. Okay, maybe a lot of tears. I may have actually just sat on the floor for a good ten minutes, staring at it, just, completely floored. Okay, that's enough, I'm going to shut up.
- Time: 3:00 PM: Back to the apartment.
Day 4: The Izmailovo Market and Possibly Overspending
- Time: 10:00 AM: Taxi to Izmailovo Market. I'm actually getting used to the taxi thing.
- Time: 11:00 AM - 3:00 PM: Izmailovo Market: This place is a treasure trove of everything! Everything! Nesting dolls in every size imaginable, fur hats that make me look like an escaped walrus, Soviet memorabilia, and just… stuff. I swore I wouldn't buy anything. Famous last words. I think I made a purchase? Don't ask if I know how much I spent. That babushka doll is going directly on my mantle.
- Time: 3:00 PM: Going to some park. No idea what the park is called, but it has rides.
Day 5: Departure (and the Reckoning)
- Time: 7:00 AM: Wake up and Pack
- Time: 9:00 AM: Last breakfast at the apartment. I have grown really fond of the small place.
- Time: 10:00 AM: Travel back to the airport and get on the plane.
A Few Final Thoughts:
- Food: I need to learn the Cyrillic alphabet before I starve. And to be less scared of the meat-filled mysterious things.
- Transport: Still hopelessly lost in the Metro as of writing this.
- People: The people are incredibly helpful once when you are lost! Always so helpful.
Okay, Moscow. You've terrified me, humbled me, and possibly bewitched me all at once. This trip? It's going to be a glorious, messy, beautiful catastrophe. And I can't wait. I'm both terrified and excited. Bring it on!
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Okay, let's be real. The Hanaka Shchelkovskoye 46 views... are they *really* "unbelievable"? Because listing descriptions...you know...
Alright, alright, let's cut the marketing fluff. I've seen those views. And yeah, okay, they ARE pretty damn good. I mean, you step out onto that balcony...and BAM! Moscow just sprawls out before you. It's not just a "view," it's an *experience*. Remember when I first saw it? I practically tripped over my own feet trying to get to the window. I think I even let out a little "whoa." (Don't judge me, the vodka was flowing.)
The worst part? The pictures **never** do it justice. You look at the photos online, and you're like, "Meh, looks okay." Then you get there and your jaw just...drops. Even on a slightly overcast day, the city just feels... alive. You see all the crazy architecture, the tiny little cars zipping around, and the sheer *scale* of it all hits you. It’s exhilarating. I swear, it’s worth at least 100 Russian rubles just to breathe in the fresh (well, relatively fresh for Moscow) air and stare out there. The marketing team? They actually kinda got it right. They got something VERY right.
Is the apartment itself...you know... *luxurious*? I'm picturing gold taps and a live-in butler. Is that what we're talking about?
Gold taps? Sadly, no. No butler either (unless you REALLY tip the cleaning lady well, and even then...). Is it luxurious? Yes, but a more realistic luxury, not the over-the-top kind. Think more "stylish and comfortable" than "Versailles on the Volga."
The furniture is nice, the finishes are high quality - I mean, Moscow luxury. Expect chic, modern, actually quite Instagram-able. I will say, the first time I saw the bathroom, I may have squealed a little. The shower pressure is *divine.* (This is important, people!) The kitchen is functional, but I'm not exactly a chef, so I wouldn't know what to say as a luxury part. It's the kind of place you *want* to spend time in, not just crash in. Also, and this is crucial: the Wi-Fi is actually fast! Praise be!
Pro tip: Don't spill anything on the white rug. Trust me on this one. I learned the hard way. (Let's just say a bottle of red wine and I had a... *moment*.)
The location: Shchelkovskoye Highway. Sounds... *industrial*. Is it a nightmare to get around?
Okay, here's the honest truth. Shchelkovskoye Highway isn't exactly the Champs-Élysées. It's a highway. It's...busy. But, Moscow *is* a big city, and you're going to get that everywhere! The metro is your friend in this city. It's easy (even if the Cyrillic initially looks like alien hieroglyphics) and a great way to get around. The station is nearby. It’s a very quick journey into the center. I'm talking, like, maybe 20 minutes? Fast!
Taxis and ride-sharing apps are readily available, too. Just be prepared for potential traffic, especially during rush hour. Oh, and learn a few basic Russian phrases. "Spasibo" (thank you) and "Eto dorogo!" (that's expensive!) are your best friends when haggling with a cabbie. (Trust me, I was once quoted a price that would have bought me a small island. Probably.)
Is it *perfect*? No. But nothing in Moscow is, really. The location is a good compromise between accessibility and privacy. You aren't smack-bang in the chaotic tourist masses.
Any downsides? Real, honest-to-goodness, annoying things?
Oh, there's always downsides! Let's see... The light fixtures. Beautiful, modern, stylish...and utterly baffling to operate. Took me a solid half hour to figure out how to turn on the kitchen lights. And then, the remote controls. Seriously, I became a light control wizard just to control everything.
Parking can be a pain. If you’re driving, plan accordingly. And the language barrier can be tough if you don’t speak Russian (or at least try). Google Translate becomes your best friend, but sometimes it just spits out gibberish. Trying to order Russian food with Google Translate is an adventure (usually a delicious one, though!).
And... and this is possibly the BIGGEST downside: leaving. You'll get used to those views. You'll get used to the comfort. You'll get used to feeling like you're living the good life. And then you'll have to leave, and that's just plain sad. I had to leave *too* soon, to be honest. I was heartbroken. (Cue the dramatic music.)
Okay, fine. Is it worth the price? Seriously.
This is the million-ruble question, isn't it? Okay, let's be brutally honest. It's not *cheap*. But is it worth it? I'd say... yes, if you can afford it, and if you're looking for a special experience in Moscow.
Think about it this way: you're not just paying for a place to sleep. You're paying for the views, which, again, ARE unbelievable. You're paying for the comfort, the convenience, the sense of *luxury* (a real sense of luxury, not the fake kind). You're paying to feel good. You’re paying to have a memorable trip. I'd go back tomorrow if I could.
If you're on a shoestring budget, maybe look elsewhere. But if you want to treat yourself, and if you appreciate quality and incredible views, then go for it. You won't regret it. Honestly, I'm still dreaming of those views... and that shower pressure.
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